college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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