Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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