jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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