just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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