I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
