So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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