Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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