Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
