remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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