ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
