I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
