smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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