my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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