Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I don't think brook has ever known best
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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