He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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