it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.