I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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