Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.