One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
