He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
