i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
