Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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