i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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