I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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