Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize