I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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