Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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