Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
