You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
