Plan B is the new Plan A
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
