Welp...herpes.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
