The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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