i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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