No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I think my moral compass just broke
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize