help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
