Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
