I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
