I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I queefed so loud it echoed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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