Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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