The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize