so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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