It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
