what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
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i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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