i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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