Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
