you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize