You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
