The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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