drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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