I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
