I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
