she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You ate ashes out of my bong
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
