I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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