He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
