I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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