Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
