Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
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theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The air taste purple.
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