So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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