pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
