I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
These tits shall not be calmed
There are leaves in my underwear?
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