maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
