nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
