she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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