Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We are all done wearing pants today
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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