I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
