Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
