You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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