Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
