ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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