Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"