i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?