$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life