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from now on my penis is your penis
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
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